I traveled last weekend to visit my family for a brief vacation. The trip consisted of many highlights–unfortunately, the return flight was not one of them.
I was able to board the plane A-OK but I became stumped when there wasn’t enough space for my carry-on bag in the overhead bins. When I pointed this fact out to a flight attendant, she asked dismissively, “Was I sure I had checked?”
I appreciate her inquisitiveness and cool demeanor but, of course, I had checked. Wouldn’t it be much easier to use the bins than flag her down?
Once this issue was resolved by walking my luggage to the front of the plane (while dodging angry oncoming traffic), I hurried back to my seat. After the requisite pre-flight instructions, my seatmates and I noticed some loud whirring noises, coming from below the plane. After about 10 minutes, the pilot announced that our plane needed to pass some type of bearing inspections prior to take-off.
He then mentioned that he and the crew thought this inspection had been completed on the previous flight or on the ground but, apparently, it had not. Now, the plane was grounded by Chicago until the inspection was completed and the plane had passed.
Now, as a nervous flier, I am totally cool with extra safety checks and precautionary measures. I’m not, however, cool with the pilot playing the blame game with the other crew. C’mon United–just say we screwed up, we are delayed until further notice and we’ll get you in the air ASAP.
I didn’t realize that the worst was yet to come. After a delay of 3-5 minutes…I mean 45 minutes (nice math), we were took off, en route to Denver.
Even though the flight was under two hours, the added runway delay made the travel time closer to 3+ hours and I had two large glasses of water, a Diet Coke and a ginger ale. The fasten seat belt sign was illuminated the whole time but I really needed to use the facilities. Really badly!
Every time someone would venture to the loo, one of the flight attendants would angrily bark orders to the whole cabin to remain seated. As someone who was making every effort to hold in the forces of nature, I understood their point of view (safety first) but I also intimately understood how the passengers felt risking permanent bladder damage.
With about 20 minutes to go, I simply could not hold it any longer. I waited until the plane felt relatively stable and went about seven rows back to the bathroom. I apologetically told the flight attendant that I just couldn’t wait any longer and I was terribly sorry.
To my surprise, she didn’t acknowledge my statement of apology…instead she said in her nastiest voice, “It’s not my fault if you get fined for this.”
WHAT? WHAT? DID SHE THREATEN TO FINE ME FOR PEEING?
I continued into the bathroom, went about my business as quickly as possible and slunk back to my seat. As my seatmates jealously exclaimed how badly they had to go too, I told them about the flight attendant’s comments.
We were all so surprised–it wasn’t as though I was going for a joy-ride in United’s bathroom or I was mingling at a party…rather, I really had to go and it was going to happen–whether it was in the bathroom or on my seat.
I understand United Airlines wants passengers to be safe and they need people to remain in their seats. And, I am sure flight attendants feel underpaid and undervalued. But, c’mon United! I didn’t deserve that type of criminal treatment or nasty comment.
After the flap with Dave Carroll’s United Breaks Guitars (great song and video by the way), I would have thought they would have advised employees to be a little friendlier and a little more helpful. Instead, they’re not just breaking guitars–they’re going for bladders.
